Only one other example of ongoing embarrassment trumps name-calling many of us faced in elementary school during the final years of the Great Depression. 

And it was in the “funny papers,” for crying out loud. No “real people” were involved, unless the late Charles Schulz–creator of the popular “Peanuts” cartoon starring Charlie Brown and Lucy Van Pelt–is included. Often, Charlie Brown was to kick a football held by Lucy. Each time, though, she retracted it just before his foot arrived, leaving him flat on his back, staring skyward. 

He fell for it every time, crimson with embarrassment…. 

*****

My face was the same shade of red in the early 1940s–when older students affixed the nickname “Droopy Drawers” to me and others similarly attired. 

It was the depths of denigration. 

Upon hearing such ridicule, “victims” in various seasons of “hand-me-down” attire hitched britches and tightened belts, hoping detractors wouldn’t lower their gazes to see if we were wearing “holey socks,” which–by the way–had nothing to do with religion. “Here comes Droopy Drawers with his religious socks on,” was an oft-heard greeting. Sometimes, we’d hitch our britches with one hand and pull our socks “toe-ward” with the other, praying that the holes would be concealed under our heels…. 

*****

Recent recollections of this nickname caused my acid reflux to “bubble up” when an eyelid problem arose. Actually, my left upper eyelid wasn’t “arising;” it was steadily drooping, and soon was more nearly shut than open. 

Figuring this to be another signal of becoming age 88, I started thinking that an eye patch might make me more dashing. After all, John Wayne wore one in True Grit.  And The Lone Ranger masked both eyes, with slits providing just enough light in to round up the bad guys, keep his faithful horse, Silver, going straight and remain within hearing distance of his faithful companion, Tonto. (It was Tonto who somehow worked “Kemosabi” into every conversation.) 

I feared being ridiculed yet again by “droopy” nicknames. Luckily, I was rescued by my brother, Dr. Fred Newbury, who continued nail-clipping as he mentioned doctors “out there” who correct eyelid droopiness. Really?… 

*****

Was it  blind hog luck or providence that I learned of Dr. Ivan Vrcek, a miracle worker and pace-setter in medical schools, now a leading Metroplex surgeon in the field? Though trained in complex, full facial cosmetic and reconstructive surgery, he chose to focus his practice in the area around the eyes. 

Making artistic sketches and photographs of surgical areas in preliminary visits, he is “cutting edge” (pun intended), performing surgeries for more than a decade. He remains “old school” in matters of care and follow-up, handles questions via email and places phone calls to patients on the days following surgeries. 

Limited space prevents citing all credentials, but it is noteworthy that the words “with honors” appear on degrees for undergraduate study at The College of the Holy Cross in Massachusetts, then at UT Southwestern Medical Center, where he was president of his class. Completing his ophthalmology residency at Parkland Hospital, he’s published numerous scientific articles in the field of ophthalmic plastic surgery. He was the first applicant from UT Southwestern in more than a decade to be accepted into the prestigious American Society of Ophthalmic Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery. During his fellowship, Dr. Vrcek performed more than 2,000 facial surgery procedures…. 

*****

Born in  Mississippi to an Irish woman and a Croatian father, he was reared in Oklahoma and Texas. 

He was interested in medicine at an early age, and his two young daughters seem to be similarly inclined. He’s at the top of my list of surgeons, not only helping me to avoid “droopy” nicknames, but also to keep both lenses in my rose-colored glasses and both eyes wide open. 

In a recent dream, I was confident that my lower eyelids were drooping, but in this case, I decided to simplify life, using them as rain gauges…. 

*****

Dr. Newbury, a speaker in the Metroplex, may be reached at 817-447-3872; email: [email protected]. Column audio version at www.speakerdoc.com.