January 27, 2026

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THE IDLE AMERICAN: One courageous mom

January 27, 2026 at 5:55 am Derrick Stuckly
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 A Wheel of Fortune contestant, one Reginald Somebody, answered matter-of-factly to host Ryan Seacrest’s query about life goals. 

    Reginald answered soberly. “My dream is to hawk beer in every major league baseball park in America.” 

    Sure enough, Reginald prevailed on that night’s show, winning $24,626. Stationed nearby were his mom and cousin…. 

*****

        Seacrest typically  controls conversational flows whether emceeing Wheel or hosting New York City’s Times Square ball-drop on New Year’s Eve. 

        He asked the winning contestant’s mom, standing nearby, a simple question: “Have you ever bought a beer from your son?” 

        It was as if a softball “pitch” had been lobbed her way, and she hit it out of the park. “No, I don’t drink beer,” she answered…. 

*****.

    We should be ecstatic if allowed mulligans, but sadly, we rarely get second chances. Most questions are like ships that have sailed, no turning back. Instead, we settle for lousy responses, the kind poorly-framed queries deserve. 

    Bill Cosby–a popular comedian during much of his career before moral doomed by moral issues–began as host on ABC’s radio show, “You Bet Your Life,” in 1947; later, it was on TV. 

    One night he nearly lost it while interviewing an older lady from “North, South Carolina.” Cosby dived right in, caught up in the seemingly unhinged response. It’s a long-time favorite on YouTube…. 

*****

    A well-known West Texas educator, who shall remain nameless, would like to have a mulligan for a faux pas committed a few years ago. 

    He is a former distinguished elected political figure who worked with several other well-known politicos deserving “The Honorable” in front of their names. (There are, of course, even fewer now….) 

    Anyways, one registration day, he was attempting to assist a student, one whose figure was no longer girlish. Examining the transcript to help plan her schedule, he posed what he thought to be an innocent question: “How far along are you?” referring to her educational journey. She misunderstood, sharply answering, “I am NOT pregnant.” The teacher so wished for a do-over…. 

*****

    Another political  figure, Harry S. Truman, 33rd President of the United States, was as to-the-point as any chief executive of any country. 

    He said what he meant, and he meant what he said. While not verifiable, it is believed that he told this story on himself many times. 

    One day, visiting a dairy farm, he warned Bess not to step in the cow manure. Their hostess, already nervous, wondered why Bess hadn’t trained her hubby to say “fertilizer” instead. Bess answered quickly, “It’s taken me years to get him to say ‘manure’.”….. 

*****

    Some “snafus”  occur in private settings but often passed along by spouses who don’t know better. This one is admitted by a friend, Julie Prunty. She and her husband, Brend, a roofing company sales manager, live at Lake Granbury, where their grandchildren are always welcome for games and boat rides. 

    Julie is a long-time x-ray technologist who still serves part-time at Cook Children’s Hospital in Fort Worth. Recently, her intent was to write a $135 check to compensate a cleaning lady. However, a “floating decimal point” went awry. She wrote the check for $1.35. The worker helped Julie to move the decimal a couple of digits to the right…. Brent is happy to share the story with anyone who’ll listen. Julie, however, was “semi-horrified,” countering that during their 28-year marriage, he’s always looked for humor. And, she’s accustomed to bearing the brunt of it….. 

*****

You’d think  I’d have known better. A half-century ago during my 14-year tenure as “flack” for Tarrant County College, I addressed a conference of some 100 college/university presidents. 

 “If a bomb hit this banquet hall today, it would set education  forward by at least a hundred years.”

    I never dreamed at the time that I would one day join them, doing my part to impede educational progress. During about 17 years in two presidencies, I’m sure I did more than my share of impeding…. 

*****

Dr. and Mrs. Newbury, married for almost 60 years, reside in the Metroplex. Speaking inquiries, newbury@speakerdoc.com, phone 817-692-5625.

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