Every year when the College Baseball World Series is on, I think about my days as a college baseball coach and wonder if I should have stuck with it. But quickly I wise up and tell myself, “Nahhhhh, I’m good.”

One thing I miss about coaching is the opportunity to develop meaningful relationships with student/athletes. Few professions outside of coaching allow opportunity to place young men and women into situations where they are given a chance to prove themselves.

I would not be where I am today without the positive influence of my high school baseball coach. He tossed me, as well as my teammates, into tough situations to see if we could handle the heat. “Opportunities for Growth” is what he called them. Many times, we would fail, but we grew and were even more ready for the next “Opportunity for Growth” that came along.

I remember one such “Opportunity for Growth” when I was the Head Baseball Coach at Howard Payne University in 1993. I have shared this story before, but it is worth repeating and remembering.

We were playing Texas Tech in a season opening three game series. I loaded up thirty non-scholarship D-III Yellow Jackets in two twelve passenger vans with roof racks full of gear and headed to Lubbock to take on a fully funded Division 1 baseball program. A team that had just come off their first ever 45-win season and top ten national ranking. We were too stupid to be scared. 

We stumbled through the first two games with minimal damage. The scores of the games were in between the “blowout” and “sort of hung in there” range so I was pleased.

Entering game three, I had saved my best pitcher for last. A big left-handed kid that stood around 6’5 and could throw hard. He played professionally for a few years after he left Howard Payne, so yes, he was good. I was excited about our chances of keeping the game close.

Unfortunately, the very first hitter my big lefty faced, he reached down to field a bunt with his bare hand and snagged his thumbnail on the turf, ripping it off his thumb. Blood came forth at an accelerated rate.

As I began the long painful stroll to the mound to evaluate his injury, I had absolutely no clue who I was going to replace him with if I had to pull him out of the game.

The home plate umpire met me at the pitcher’s mound, looked at his thumb and said, “Coach, he’s gotta go,” and my athletic trainer nodded in agreement. I had already pitched nearly every player on the roster in the previous two games, so my options were limited at best.

I looked over at my dugout and spotted a little 155 lb. freshman named Shawn Brown, from San Angelo, Texas. I knew his fast ball could barely break the speed limit, but he was my final answer at that moment. At the very least I knew he would compete and leave everything he had on the field.

So, I yelled his name, and Shawn sprang to his feet and sprinted onto the field like he knew what he was doing. Shawn looked about fourteen years old, and the Texas Tech hecklers let him have it! Being a freshman was tough enough, but getting your college debut in front of 3,500 Tech fans was a bit tougher.

Handing him the ball I said, “This is something you can share with your kids someday.”  He smiled and replied, “I got this Coach.” Fortunately for us, he pitched well. We still got beat, but he did a super job under some very tough circumstances. Shawn walked away that night feeling great about himself, and his teammates slapped him on the back as a result. He competed like a champion, and that was all I could have hoped for.

Shawn graduated from Howard Payne University a few years later with a degree in Ministry. He got married and was attending the Seminary in Ft. Worth, Texas, studying to be a youth minister when on September 15th, 1999, the unthinkable happened.

He was leading a “See You at The Pole” youth rally at Wedgwood Baptist Church in Ft. Worth, Texas when a deranged individual stormed into the chapel and started shooting. Shawn Brown was shot and killed at the age of twenty-three while shielding others. Some of you may remember the shooting. If you go by the church today, there is granite memorial out front honoring Shawn and the others that were slain.

Shawn Brown was one brave soldier. He gave 100% to baseball, school, family, and his God. He was doing what he loved when he died. It is heartbreaking that Shawn was not able to share that Texas Tech baseball memory with his children. It’s sad and senseless that he was not able to fulfill his dream of serving the youth at his church. Shawn would have had a life full of ‘the good stuff’ because he was committed to doing the right thing. Shawn’s life was wiped out by hate and trying to make sense of his death is futile because it makes no sense.

I’d like to believe that love conquers all, but hate is making a pretty good run these days. We need men like Shawn Brown more today than ever.

God bless his memory. I was given the privilege to coach Shawn; I can only hope he was better for it.

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Todd Howey is a columnist for BrownwoodNews.com whose articles appear on Fridays. Email comments to [email protected].