I had a great dad. He treated me and my brothers like men, my sister like a lady, and our mother like a queen.
I ask myself, “Exactly what did I teach my kids when they were young?” I hope I have taught them more than how to throw a football and catch a baseball. That type of involvement is good, but you can hire somebody for $30 an hour to teach that.
FOUR THINGS MY DAD DEMONSTRATED TO ME.
- Story of the coal miner.
I was in a hitting slump while playing baseball in the minor leagues. I could not get a hit to save my life. I called my dad for sympathy.
He said, “Todd, remember the coal miner. The reason he wears a light on his head and not his behind is to see where he is going, not where he has been. Just keep swinging.”
He never wasted time looking back, he knew there was no future in it.
- Story of the turtle.
At the Howey Family Ranch there is a painting of a turtle on the water tower with its head sticking out of its shell.
I almost turned down a great job because it was risky. Dad’s advice, “Be like the turtle, don’t be afraid to stick your neck out.”
My dad sold everything at the age of forty-five and opened a restaurant. It was a success, his willingness to “stick his neck out” has provided generational opportunities for our family.
- Through sickness and health.
My mother’s cancer returned with might while dad was opening his first restaurant. Even still, he continued to put my mom first during her illness. She was his top priority, not the business.
He told me, “Todd, I will spend every dime and every day on your mother to get her better.”
He meant it. Dad cooked, cleaned the dishes, folded laundry, made the beds, and cared for my mother like I had never seen before, or even thought he was capable of doing.
It was then my dad became my hero. He demonstrated “to have and to hold through sickness and health.” He personified unconditional love, and it changed my life. Love has no depth when you learn a lesson like that.
Dad’s greatest gift was not something he did for me, but what he did for my mother. He didn’t know all the scriptures in the bible, but he knew the God who inspired them, and he exhibited godly love. That beats a sermon any day of the week.
- The story of the Bluebird of Happiness
The bluebird is the international symbol of happiness and a mascot for our family.
My dad’s version of the story is that bluebird left its home to search the world for true happiness but never found it. When the bluebird returned home, it realized true happiness was there all along, found in itself, surrounded by family and friends.
Dad said, “When you learn that happiness in life comes from within, then the bluebird has landed on your shoulder. True happiness is found in yourself and your family. Don’t waste time searching the world for it.”
That’s his bluebird story and I’m sticking to it. I was able to share the bluebird story at my youngest son’s engagement party. At his wedding, all the groomsmen wore a bluebird lapel pin as a reminder of this simple story.
Four lessons I still live out today.
Dad always felt like he could have done more for me and my siblings – which is a silly thought – but now that I have children, I get it.
He spent a lot of time building a business, and he was constantly concerned that he was spending too much time at the job. It is a tough balance, but we all knew where his heart was, there was no doubt about that.
Dad always referred to the song “Cat’s in the Cradle’” by Harry Chapin. He’d say, “I don’t want to be that guy.”
If you’ve never heard it, I encourage you to listen.
My son turned ten just the other day
He said, “Thanks for the ball, Dad, c’mon let’s play
Can you teach me to throw?” I said, “Not today
I got a lot to do”, he said, “That’s okay”
And he, he walked away but his smile
Never dimmed and said
“I’m gonna be like him, yeah
You know I’m gonna be like him.”
I’ve long since retired, my son’s moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, “I’d like to see you if you don’t mind”
He said, “I’d love to, Dad, if I could find the time”
“You see, my new job’s a hassle and the kid’s got the flu”
“But it’s sure nice talkin’ to you, Dad
It’s been sure nice talkin’ to you”
And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me
He’d grown up just like me
My boy was just like me.
Again, I encourage you to listen to the song. Google it.
My dad never talked about how to be a great man; he just did it. He was selfless and he never let me down. I try to live like him.
Yep, my dad was better than your dad, at least that is what I believe. I hope you feel the same way about yours.
Happy Father’s Day.
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Todd Howey is a columnist for BrownwoodNews.com whose articles appear on Fridays. Email comments to [email protected].