Hey John,

I have a question for you: do you think that people were meant to be monogamous? My girlfriend and I have been together for a number of years and have a few children together. Her friends call me a serial cheater, but I have always been sexually active outside of our “marriage”. She’s not crazy about it, but she’s known about this for a long time. I feel that we don’t have to only have sex with one person. What do you think?  – Wilt

[adrotate group=”8″]

Mr. Wilt,

As I am under qualified to speak from educated religious perspective, let’s just go the common sense route. There are societies and religions that give a man the right to have a number of wives (I note that I don’t know of any liberated societies that allow women to have a harem full of men, however). Also note that these practices are seriously frowned upon in the U.S. The tone of your letter is that of an American male. If that is the case, you are in an extreme minority of people who have sex with other women outside of you marriage and re-label it as merely “sexually active”. 

Some species have the genetic instinct to mate for life. Cardinals and doves and humans mate for life. We humans, in a relatively recent attempt to re-shape society to fit our personal needs are re-defining permanent relationships, loyalty, fidelity, family and work ethic. Is it normal? Probably not. Is it human evolution? Perhaps, but I really kind of hope not. We’ve never experienced this in our society. Is it a good thing? Behavior born of personal need over protection of family is never good. If a person’s “got” to be a dog in heat, then they may have to mindlessly follow the scent. However, to attempt to justify hurtful behavior as “man’s inclination” is a little weird. Sorry.