For most people, the Christmas season is filled with happiness, but for others, it is a reminder of loved ones who have passed away. For that reason, the Bereaved Parents Support Group held their annual Angel Tree decorating Tuesday evening. The event was held at Heartland Mall, near J.C. Penney at 7:00 p.m.
Family members filled two nine foot Christmas trees with ornaments that held pictures of loved ones who have passed, and they visited with each other about their lives and the grief that they are dealing with daily. LaFreda Kilburn, the leader of the Bereaved Parents Support Group, spoke of the grieving process and how it isn’t possible to ever “get over” the loss of a loved one, especially a child, but that those grieving must learn a way to get by day-to-day. She explained how decorating these Christmas trees help family members deal with the loss during the holidays.
“It’s a way during the holidays to spend with our children. We honor their legacy and honor their memories,” said Kilburn. “The first years are so hard, our love lives on forever, but there’s no getting over it. We just work in positive ways in our grief to get through to tomorrow. It’s an expression of trauma and grief. It’ll never be the same because a piece of your heart is missing.”
Kilburn’s own son died 19 years ago. She became involved in the Angel Tree ceremony and has led the group in the tradition since 1995. She stated that in 1997, there were about 200 ornaments. This year more than 400 ornaments fill the trees and more continue to be requested. When the Angel Trees were started, the ornaments were limited to children; however recently the group has allowed any loved one to be honored through an ornament.
“Any family member can be added,” Kilburn said. “We just don’t have any other grief support groups here.”
Kilburn explained that those grieving are working to find a new normal in their lives and work gradually through the grieving process.
Some members drove from out of town to help decorate the Angel Trees with their ornament and do so every year. Kilburn explained that many other cities have no support for those grieving.
Mike and Cindy Tittle came Tuesday evening to hang an ornament in honor of their son Josh, who passed away in 2009 after battling cancer.
Cindy stated that she realized that those grieving have two choices in moving forward.
“We can either hide, hoping to get better, or reach out and help someone,” said Tittle as she explained that some people are able to find ways to use their own grieving experience to minister to others.
The group offers ornaments free of charge to the public. Contact LaFreda Kilburn at 325-752-6025 or 325-998-1567and she will make your ornament to place on the tree. Please provide a name, birth date, death date and a picture if available.
The group will meet again on December 9th at 6:30 p.m. to honor their angels in a candlelight memorial service.
Pictured above and below are photos of the Angel Trees being decorated and the memorial ornaments.
