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MICHAEL BUNKER: Happy Artificial Temporal Delineation Day

December 31, 2023 at 12:34 pm Updated: January 1st, 2024 at 8:05 am Derrick Stuckly
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Michael Bunker is a local columnist for BrownwoodNews.com whose columns appear periodically on the website

I have always called New Year’s Day – Artificial Temporal Delineation Day. That’s because it’s just another day, and the fact that we declare it to be the beginning of the new year (which it has not always been) and the end of the old one is just an arbitrary factoid thrust upon us by politicians probably. Julius Caesar requested a new calendar and had an astronomer/mathematician devise one with January 1st as the New Year, but nobody else really picked it up until much later.

As a time traveler, artificial temporal delineations mean even less.

The point is that sometimes we attach importance to arbitrary hallmarks and ignore important ones. The idea that “we’re going to do thus and such after the first of the year,” or “I’m resolving to do this or that,” really has more to do today with the fact that most people eat too much, party too much, avoid work too much, and don’t do any physical exercise for the last three months of the year. If anyone deserves to celebrate after January 1st it is employers, who might get some productivity from their employees after the bowl games are over.

Some important or notable stuff has happened on or near January 1st. The first things that pop into my head are the Cuban Revolution succeeding, and the death of Hank Williams.

I’ve written an article previously here about how I used to stay up and watch big band leader Guy Lombardo and the Royal Canadians (back before rock and roll took over New Year’s) play at the Waldorf Astoria on New Year’s Eve. Those were some good memories. Now, the late-night New Year’s Eve shows are about as horrible as the NFL game intro videos… over-produced, under-talented, and just as plastic as AI could manufacture with ten seconds of computing time.

The point is that there are much more interesting temporal delineations – like the dates of the first and last freeze. The first day of spring planting. Harvest time being finished. Pancakes for supper. The first squash or cantaloupe being ready to pick.

I told the story here one time (I think) about how in the early 1900s, everyone in Manhattan would look to the Times building in Times Square and there was a big clock up at the top (where the ball now drops) and at exactly noon you’d have tens of thousands of people (every day) looking at the clock strike noon so they could wind and set their watches. THAT is a cultural touchstone – much more than drinking too much champagne and trying to not get a DUI.

Tonight, I’m going to be rolling cigars over at 10 Mile Productions wine room on Center Avenue, and if you’re not doing anything you could come by. I’ll be there between 6-9 rolling, and who knows after that. They’ll be celebrating with champagne and wine and beer and whatnot. Food too.

Whatever you’re doing tonight, be careful. I’d love for you to make it through to another arbitrary temporal delineation a year from now.

***

Michael Bunker is a local columnist for BrownwoodNews.com whose columns appear on Wednesdays and Sundays on the website.

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